Advertising ... IN SPACE!

We all know about Christopher Columbus' romantic trip to the Americas. We learned about how bad-ass he was every year in elementary school. And, even though a lot of people say the story isn't exactly true, we all seem to be realtively proud of him making contact with the Native Americans and "discovering" the new world.

Great. But how different would the story be if, instead of arriving to a bunch of curious Indians interested in his beads and trinkets, he had arrived to this?

Pretty different, right?

I swear I have a point to make here. The point is, space (as cliche as it is to say this) is the modern unexplored frontier. Granted, we've looked around up there a little bit. But, by and large, we don't know nothin' 'bout no space.

But that doesn't matter to capitalism. Capitalism (I believe capitalism was an old, wooden ship) likes to get its greasy paws on anything and everything it can--especially when it comes to advertising.

OK, to the point. Advertisers have actually tried to put billboards in space.Yep, they suck that much.

Come on. Space is freakin' beautiful. And, in 1993, an evil company tried to put billboards in low space orbit that were one square kilometer wide and would be roughly the same size and have roughly the same brightness as the full moon.

Let's all take a moment to add this to our lists of things that make us lose faith in humanity.

...

OK, enter your new hero. U.S. congressman Ed Markey. He introduced a bill in 1993 that banned all obtrusive space advertising. The bill is still in effect today. Now let's take another moment to honor this guy.

Done.

Can you imagine if the advertisers had won that one? There would be no more peaceful night sky. There would, however, be giant McDonald's billboards making everyone hungry during meteor showers.

One small setback for advertisers, one giant leap for the rest of us.